Lies Amongst Us
by ReidFan24-7
Summary: What if Reid had taken Dilaudid when Emily had supposedly died? JJ's, along with the other's lies and deception would prove to have horrific consequences. Spoilers S6. Reid/Emily.WARNING: SELF HARM
1. Chapter 1

**Lies Amongst Us**  
Chapter One: Addiction

-:-

It's true what they say about addiction. It kills a part of you and takes a piece from the person you had once been. Changes the person that you had always been.

I know, because as I hold this small bottle I feel weak and less of the man I should be. My fingers grasped it tightly, as if dependent.

It calls out to me, tempting me. "Do it. Do it Reid."

The tears leaked from my eyes and streamed down my cheeks.

"Do it. Do it."

The words rang in my ears and consumed my thoughts.

How can I not listen?

"It makes it better. The pain, it goes away..."

It was true, wasn't it? I found myself desperate for relief, for a way to escape into utter oblivion.

The needle was in my hand and my fingers wrapped tightly around it's body. I smiled when it was suddenly filled with clear liquid.

I crave it, was determined to escape.

My arm was suddenly tied, the needle positioned at the crook of my elbow.

How?

There was nothing left to stop me.

Why?

I was dead inside. Why resist? She was gone?

I could be free.

No more pain. Emily...No more pain.

I allowed the point to prick the skin and blood dribbled down my arm. I smiled.

There was nothing left to stop me. Nothing.

It could all be over, everything.

"Do it."

The needle slid in my vein easily. My finger held the plunger. It was just a matter of seconds.

I had to. I was doing the right thing, right?

It felt so natural to me at that moment, my finger applied pressure and the liquid slowly entered my veins.

Bliss, utter bliss.

I felt it's comfort, no longer would I be alone.

The pressure increased and I moaned in ecstasy.

Thoughts of Emily dissipated. She wasn't dead. The love I felt for her, no longer a distant memory.

Now, I could love her and be with her because in this world, she was right here with me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lies Amongst Us**

Chapter Two: They Didn't Know They Were Killing Him

-:-

Garcia was the first to come to my door. Her soft, loving voice perforated my dark, repulsive thoughts.

But only just.

She knocked on my door a few times, waited. Then a few moments later, again. Again.

Minutes ticked by as she was left unanswered and then I heard a sharp sob echo from the hallway.

"Please Reid..."

I could envision her, mascara lines running down her usually radiant features, hands desperately clawing at the door, reaching for something she didn't realize was too far gone.

An hour passed before she left.

I had not moved.

:-:

Morgan came next, his zeal and concern combining.

His hand hovered over the door, but did not connect. He pulled his hand away.

"Kid, I know you know I'm here..."

He sighed.

He said a few more words, then walked away. My mind was so cloudy I could not register all that he said.

I simply caught one word.

"...Goodbye..."

 _They all leave..._

Tearfully, I sunk the needle back in my arm and pressed the plunger.

I sighed in relief and sunk back into a dark silence where no one could say goodbye.

:-:

Rossi soon came, but in my dazed, confused state I could not comprehend any words he spoke to me.

Instead I held on to his deep, comforting tone, and waited.

Over an hour passed. Rossi remained, talking about something unknown.

Talking. So simple.

Another hour.

I squeezed my eyes shut as the fog within my mind slowly lifted and began to comprehend his words.

"Emily..."

I gritted my teeth at the mention of her name.

The vital was in my hand.

I glimpsed it's smooth surface, indescribable beauty.

It slowly killed the body, but numbed the mind of pain.

When had his logic become so twisted.

My next movements returned me to my dark, painless escape.

...

Hotch and JJ.

Voices of soft and firm tones.

I breathed a breath of air.

"Spence..." JJ. "This isn't how s-"

I felt the tears trace down my cheeks, some how this hurt the most.

I comprehended the appearance of a deeper, firmer tone.

Hotch.

I refused to listen to him. To JJ.

My fingers grasped the small bottle tightly, shaking violently.

Full. Completely full.

I hiccuped slightly as my body was wracked with sobs.

It would be too much...

But it would be over.

My movements were slow, lethargic.

The needle pierced the small bottle and drew out every once of clear liquid from inside.

I brought the syringe before my face, and my eyes traced the container hungrily.

"Spencer..." Her voice echoed in the back of my mind.

I found the crock of his arm and pushed. The needle slipped inside my vein effortlessly.

"Please Spence..."

A wash of relief suddenly swept over my entire body. The world quickly began to fade away.

I leaned back, and breath a sigh.

Smiling I allowed myself to disappear in the blackness for the last time.


End file.
